Monday, November 8, 2010
Reaching a degree of compatibility These days, it seems a lot of people are in relationships. The reason they are in relationships is because things generally work with their other half. You share some common interests. There are some people who, as hard as you try, you're not able to become friends with because the conversations do not flow naturally. Couples work because they are able to communicate with eachother with relative ease.
And so you begin spending more time with that other person. By doing this, you share common experiences and pick up eachother's habits. This gives you even more opportunity to communicate with your partner. This leads to spending more time with them. This cycle continues. As time goes by, each member of the couple forms a dependency on the other.
Let's say you get along with your partner. Things are alright, you have the odd argument from time to time. You don't like everything about your partner. But you are able to get along with eachother.
So a degree of compatibility is reached. You are compatible to an extent that you can form a relationship. As I mentioned before, many people are in relationships. So are most these people in relationships in love?
Magic Now picture this situation. You are with someone else. There is something about them - the way they talk, the things they talk about, their behaviour, whatever it is, creates a giddy feeling in your heart; your heart flutters, melts, or beats in a strange way. This feeling may cause tears to well up in your eyes. Also, I'd like to point out that this is not a temporary feeling you get when you first meet them. It continues through years and years.
You feel as though this person knows you so well. You are completely comfortable with this person, able to share all your secrets and thoughts with them.
There are more ups and downs with this person than the one discussed above. You experience more conflicts and differences. You identify many more flaws and personality incompatibilities with this person than the one above. These negative factors strain the relationship considerably.
Does this special feeling within your heart mean it is love? Or is this thinking too simple and immature?
Situation 1 versus situation 2 Although being near someone for an extensive period may cause you to believe it's love, in reality it is feelings of attachment and familiarity. If the relationship has been going on for more than a year and the heart-fluttering sensation has not occured, it is not possible that this will happen out of the blue one day. The feelings of closeness may gradually turn into love and care in time. However, for the most part, people tend to find someone they are compatible with and settle for that. Therefore, most people are not in love. They are content for the present moment. The positive though, is the stability that comes from this kind of relationship.
Some people may think the second situation is shallow and overly simple. But how many people do you meet that can make your heart melt? This occurrence is very rare. You could meet 10 people you are compatible with to an extent that a relationship can be formed out of it. But out of those 10 people, it is most probable that not one of them can cause a reaction in your heart. When you meet someone in the second category, you will know it is completely different to all other relationships.
Uncertainties I question whether there is a clear distinction of what is love, as I previously described, or whether there are varying degrees of compatibility and once a level is reached, that is called love. It may be there is a scale of compatibility. Everyone you form a romantic relationship with is on the scale. It is when someone is on the higher end of compatibility to you, that becomes "love".
For now, I believe in a clear distinction. When you get a unique, out-of-the ordinary feeling different to other feelings you have had, you will know it is love.
Friday, November 5, 2010
I couldn't believe it was free!! It was really beautiful and I'm glad I went to Canberra for this.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The only problem is the border around the edges of the bolster - where the start of the border meets the end, I had trouble making them connect smoothly to make it look like there were no breaks.
I used 6 balls of Paton's Zhivago Home yarn. It was quite lucky too, when I had finished, there was around 50cm of the yarn remaining! Here are the photos and the pattern:
Tension: 16 sts x 23rows = 10cm (5mm needles)
CO 72 sts
Row 1: *K8, P8* repeat until last 8 sts, K8.
Row 12: *K8, P8* repeat until last 8 sts, K8.
Round 3: *K8, K2tog* repeat until end
S-shaped patterns on body:
Monday, October 4, 2010
I lie in bed thinking about a particular subject, and when I fall asleep, my thoughts turn into a dream that is directly continuous from my thoughts (there are no breaks or disjointed parts from when it turns from thoughts into a dream). This happens maybe once every 2 months. When I wake up, I remember these dreams exactly as they occur. However, given the fact that humans dream every night, I have trouble remembering most my dreams.
The night before last night, I had brought my knitting on a holiday. I wrote down the pattern on a small piece of paper and packed it into my luggage, but when I started knitting that night, I was unable to find the piece of paper, having looked through all my luggage. That night in bed, I kept wondering where the piece of paper could be. Strangely enough, I had a dream of myself going through my handbag, and a particular plastic bag inside my large luggage bag. The dream ended when I found the piece of paper.
The next morning, I searched through the bags I had dreamt of. Surprisingly, I found the piece of paper! I must admit I was a little scared by my ability to dream of this and have it happen in real life, but nonetheless I was pleased I had found it.
This morning I was thinking of the perfect location for my wedding, piqued by a holiday magazine featuring tropical destinations for couples. I remembered a year ago when I was doing research on possible holiday destinations, I had come across a hotel site with a photo of the place I had envisaged to hold my reception at. All morning and afternoon, I wanted to find the photo. I searched various hotel sites across worldwide locations but to no avail. Immediately after, I had a nap. While I was waiting to fall asleep, I tried extremely hard to remember what site I had found the photo on. During my nap, I experienced myself on my laptop and going to a hotel site, seeing that the chain had 2 hotels in the Maldives, and looking at their pictures. My dream photo was not there. Then, I navigated to a particular hotel site and clicked on their list of worldwide hotel locations. A new screen opened with the cities, and I clicked on a particular city. Sure enough, viewing the photos on that page, I had found the photo I had been looking for.
I woke up immediately after and went to my laptop. I did everything in the latter part of my dream. The pages were exactly the same as what I had dreamt. I found my dream wedding reception on that page!! I was completely shocked. Although I was pleased in finding it, I was and still am scared and shocked at what I have done. How could I not only controlled the subject of my dreams, but used them to find what I couldn't find consciously? Also, how did I dream of the exact layout of the webpage that I had last viewed a year ago?
Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am a bit scared of myself :S
Saturday, September 11, 2010
As you may recall, last week I was dreading having to start work, because of the monotonous tasks that lay ahead. Surprisingly, work hasn't been that bad at all! The firm specialises in wide areas of law, and this week I've been working on a few of the areas.
It hasn't been all admin tasks..I have done some filing and faxing, however, a lot of the work was legal. On my first day, a solicitor asked me to attend a property settlement, acting for the purchasers, by myself! Talk about being thrown in the deep end; I was overwhelmed but it was interesting and relevant to my degree. I managed to get it done. I attended another property settlement on Friday.
I've learnt how to file documents in court, and have been preparing court documents and barrister's briefs. All in all it's been a lot more interesting than I had previously thought, and time goes by quickly.
In my last post, I mentioned applying for positions at legal centres. I received a call from one on Monday, and went to the interview on Tuesday during my lunch break. I was successful, and only had Wednesday to make my decision. My dilemma was that I enjoyed what I was doing now, the work is varied, time goes by fast, and I was actually doing tasks that helped people; on the other hand the legal centre is a lot more relaxed, the hours are shorter (by 1 hour), and I would have a 1hr lunch break as opposed to half an hour. The legal centre specialises in one area, and I thought I might be limited in terms of learning.
I sought advice from friends and family but they felt the decision lay with me. I didn't take the position; I didn't want to risk a position that was a lot better than my expectations for the unknown.
I went indoor rock climbing on Wednesday night - this is not a bright idea in your first week of work when you are exhausted just from being at work. My arms felt like jelly by the end of a few walls. I climbed half as many walls as I would have on a weekend.
The cake I made for Father's Day turned out well! It was gone within two days. I baked a mudcake yesterday and am yet to taste it! I've been told that the Father's Day cake was better than this one.
Yesterday, I also went to my first Zumba class! It's enjoyable, the movements are easy to pick up, and it's freestyle in the sense that people do variations of the moves, so as long as you move in time with the music, you won't look like an idiot.
I also went out to dinner with some friends, 2 of whom I hadn't seen in a year! It was good to catch up.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
A lot has happened since I last blogged. I had my final set of exams this week and finished on Friday - no more studying! (Unless if I decide to start a Masters degree or other study). After 19 years of study, I will be starting full-time work on Monday. I'll finally be a 'normal' working person and it has taken a lot of years of study to get here!
I'm starting work at a private law firm but I am not sure this is what I want. I can already tell it's going to be long hours on end, having to put up with cut-throat attitudes of co-workers and even worse, arrogant behaviour by seniors who will look down on me, starting off by doing monotonous tasks such as photocopying or editing drafts. All this to be at the whim of a few greedy executives at top levels, assisting them to achieve their goal of gaining profitability, the bulk of which goes back to them, in order to satisfy their never-ending materalistic wants. I will arrive home extremely tired, irritated, feeling dirty and grumpy, having no time..is this really the life I want to go into?
In the last two weeks I have been thinking this through, and the answer is no. Community Legal Centres, which help disadvantaged persons in need of legal aid but cannot afford it, appealed far more to me. My time and effort would actually go towards helping those truly in need. The hours would be a lot better, the workplace would understand the meaning of work/life balance, and co-workers would treat each other with respect and dignity. So I applied to a few of these Centres. I attended an interview last week, but unfortunately have not heard back from any of them.
Taking the rest of the year off to go overseas and do some volunteer work was another option. I would gain numerous and varied experiences, from helping the needy, to experiencing a different culture, to learning more about myself without the pressures of life in Sydney. Most of all, this opportunity would allow me to reflect on the person I am now and improve my thinking and relations with others, so that I would become a better person; truly living "life" as it should be. However, the realities of having to earn money in order to live (ironic) and disapproval from parents preclude this.
So for now, a balance has to be acheived. I will have to go to work on Monday, but at the same time if it becomes absolutely unbearable, going overseas to volunteer is what I will do. Unfortunately this balance has to be struck now; I have not yet found a way to truly "live".
Also, on Friday my boyfriend and I broke up. Right after my last assignments were handed in. I went to the apartment and packed everything that belonged to me, it took a good 2 hours. Of course it's painful when you part from someone, and when they ened things, part of the sadness stems from the rejection. I normally take break ups quite badly, but over the years I have matured. I know who I'm looking for, and over the break I realised he wasn't it. My friends and family have been extremely supportive of me. This made packing up, having to see him, and handing back the keys a lot easier. I always though moving out because of a break up would be the hardest thing, but I handled it quite well, by realising it was not going to work. I only cried for 10 minutes after he told me it wasn't going to work out!
I chose to have the talk and move my things on Friday because I had planned to go out with some friends who I'd met through my course, the same night. As I was looking forward to spending time with them after the pressure of exams was lifted, this made things a lot easier. I had a great night, laughed until I cried over a pair of white non-slip kitchen shoes, met Brett Lee and Michael Clarke (famous cricketers), and stayed out for a long time.
On Saturday, I met a friend for coffee, and during coffee I got invited to a dinner party that night. I spent the evening at my friends' apartment overlooking the Harbour Bridge. It was awkward when I stepped in and saw it was 3 couples and..me. Luckily, everyone knew each other and none of them just stayed around their partners. They were great company. I received an unexpected but welcoming call from one of my best friends late that night when I got home, and we chatted for a while.
Today is Father's Day and I plan to make a cake for my dad..I'm not sure what cake yet, I will have to think about that. I'm meeting with a high school friend for shopping and dinner.
So one chapter has ended, but the start of this new chapter has been perfect! I hope that is a sign of good things to come, although I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. I'll take things one day at a time and see how it goes.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
The sponge was springy, cream tasted nice but pity about it losing shape and melting after a while. Overall I was very satisfied with it.
Here is a photo taken from my phone camera, sorry about the quality:
And here is the recipe:
4 eggs at room temperature
130g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp butter
4 tbs water
1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees celcius. Line and grease two 18cm round cake tins. (I didn't have two tins so I made one after the other using the same tin).
2. Separate the eggs. Beat egg yolks.
3. Beat egg whites until frothy, gradually adding sugar. Add egg yolks whilst still beating. Beat until smooth.
4. Sift flour and baking powder. Add to egg mixture. Fold.
5. Heat butter and water on a stove until it comes to the boil. Add to mixture and fold.
6. Transfer mixture to the two baking tins and bake for 20 minutes.
7. Leave on a wire rack to cool.
Prepare the fruit:
1 punnet strawberries
1 punnet blueberries
10-20 large green seedless grapes
1 - 2 tbs sugar
1. Slice the strawberries into half. Place in a bowl and sprinkle sugar. Mix gently, making sure sugar coats strawberries. Set aside.
2. Halve the grapes.
1 cup butter, softened
6 cups icing sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1. Mix butter.
2. Add 4 cups of sugar to the mixture.
3. Add the milk and vanilla extract.
4. Beat the mixture using a hand mixer. Add remaining sugar gradually, until icing is a thick consistency. (Taste icing - if it is not sweet enough, add more sugar).
Utensils: Piping bag
Cake can be made up to 4 hours prior to serving.
1. When cakes are completely cooled, take 1 cake and slice top carefully until an even surface is formed.
2. Spread 1/3 to 1/2 the buttercream on top of this layer, ensuring cream is not too close to the edges. Layer with a little more than 1/2 the strawberries, and 3/4 blueberries, once again ensuring they are not too close to the edge (the weight of the top layer will force the cream to spread towards the edge). Spread another layer of cream on top of fruit (this is so that the top layer will stick).
3. Spread cream on bottom of the other cake and carefully place the cake on top of the first cake. Spread a thin layer of buttercream on top surface (so the fruit will stick). Pipe remaining icing around edge of cake. Decorate with remaining fruit.
4. Store in fridge for up to 4 hours.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I used different yarn for them, and the result was that the red one felt a lot softer and the 'fur' stayed down when the cushion was pressed. The fur on the pink one was more dense and coarse, giving a fluffier look. Here is a closeup of the difference in yarn:
Here is the pattern for the pink one.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Now to explain the changes I'm going through, where do I begin? I finished studying a double degree in Commerce and Law at the end of last year, and unlike my colleagues who all seemed to have their careers planned out, I had no direction at all. I'm not attracted to a corporate lifestyle where my time is spent tending to the pursuits of money-hungry individuals. Long story short, I am currently taking some time off to reflect on what I want my life to be. This is the first time in my life where I don't know where I am headed, and after 9 months, I still have not figured out what I want in life.The uncertainty scares me.
I was also living with my boyfriend of one year. It was the first time I had moved out of home and my parents opposed it. A few weeks ago he decided he needed a break and I moved back in with my parents. The break and having to confront my parents has been tough and has only added to my confusion.
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but ever since high school finished, I feel like I'm unable to make many friends. At uni all my classes had different people and would run once or twice a week. My classmates left straight after class. As a result, I didn't make many friends at uni, and saw my high school friends infrequently. Now with this break I'm taking, I meet even less people. People tell me to take up hobbies to meet new people, but it's hard to meet people I can connect with. It gets lonely at times.
Right now I'm studying to become a qualified solicitor. After a few months of traveling and volunteer work, I needed something to do to fill the void. Although I don't have life figured out yet, I thought that having this qualification will only help my resume look more attractive to potential employers. Besides, even if I sat at home all day, my life's purpose is not going to suddenly hit me.
So that's a bit about the changes I'm going through.